just remember, curiosity killed the cat...   i don't pretend to be captain weird. i just do what i do. -johnny depp






girls think having a period sucks but try having to fix your penis discreetly through your pocket 

having the insides of your organs shed and come out through your genitals does not compare to having displaced balls sorry

none of you can do it discreetly anyways

we see you

everyone sees you

(via can-you-not-thing)

— 6 days ago with 545610 notes




ha im a piece of trash

As someone who cares deeply about the environment, I am obligated to pick you up.
Is seven okay?

you smooth fucker

(via can-you-not-thing)

— 1 week ago with 203965 notes

Trail mix? Aka m&ms with obstacles? Nah

— 1 week ago


dylan o brien more like dylan o fuck me

(via communistbakery)

— 1 week ago with 43631 notes


sext: I bought you concert tickets

(Source: stability, via prettyinhotpunk)

— 1 week ago with 290185 notes


i love the term “bear with me” because it could mean either 1 of 2 things:

  • asking someone to be patient
  • confirmation that the zoo heist was a success

(via dutchster)

— 1 week ago with 270302 notes


do you have those memories that are really cringey and you never speak of and something triggers the memory and you want to fucking wash your brain out with bleach

(Source: littlexiutie, via v-ogued)

— 1 week ago with 861025 notes

it scares me that you never know what someone is thinking or feeling towards you and everything that they say could be one massive lie

(Source: wh1rring, via crunchier)

— 1 week ago with 1139916 notes